things that are stressing me out right now.

  • my knees are wonky and i can't run.
  • my physio is worried about whatever i am doing to my back. if that pain is still there tomorrow, he wants me to get myself checked out by my ortho asap. he also mentioned the words 'herniated' and 'disc' in the same breath.
  • a boy i was head over heels in love with in my previous life (and who dumped me three times or so) is coming to town with his band on thursday, and i still have to transcribe an interview i did with him, and i still love their music, too, but it's all making me effing miserable and nostalgic and sad, even the fact that i'm pretty sure he's most definitely expecting to spend the night with me (which i'm not going to, obviously, which kinda makes it worse).
  • i'm going to visit my parents in three weeks for the first time in 18 months, and i'm full of fear and stress about it already, because things have been oh-so-very weird with them lately. they specifically did not invite the bf to tag along, and i'm majorly creeped out by not being able to escape.
  • the darkness is getting to me. and the cold. and winter. why do i crave all that warm, sweet, hot crappy food?
  • i have an appointment at a freaking infertility clinic tomorrow, even though i am not trying to conceive. i really hope that super-special-pcos-doc (who's published papers on it and all) has some fabulous idea as to how to tune my body. i never thought i'd say this, really, but i miss having a cycle (cd 140 today, wee!), and i am creeped out by the changes i am already noticing on my body after nine months off the pill. (and geez, does all of this ever stir up issues.)
  • i'm stressed out by the in-betweenness of our living situation. i kinda miss my stuff and being fully at home somewhere. but that home is neither in my tiny appartment, nor here (yet). i wish we'd just move in together for real. after cleaning up this place, that is.
  • i'm so scared that i will wake up one morning and weigh 90kg again.
  • the fivehundred things i have to do at work, none of which i am really excited about.

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