possibly the worst photo ever taken of me.

it's been 618 days, 27,5kg and 5 dress sizes since this picture was taken.

what freaks me out the most, however, is that i actually thought that i looked good then. and i really didn't.

i'm having lots of weird moments of residual shame and sadness right now, looking at photos from my fat days - you know the ones, the ones that just barely escaped the delete-button, the ones other people took and emailed, the ones that are not on flickr.

it's so odd to think: that was me. i still own the very same body that looked that way. i'm so sad about having been that way. and so sad about feeling so crappy about my former self.

it's all a wee bit much sometimes, this change.

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