proxy freak-out.

well. that was a wee bit ridiculous, wasn't it?

a day of healthy, within-points eating and three hours of sweating at the gym later (including my week 8, run 3, 30 minutes inside the hypoxy treadmill and a compliment by one of the reception girls, who said that she was impressed by how much weight i'd lost since i joined back in june), and i'm done with my freak-out.

i'm just a wee bit stressed right now: the next few weeks at work before i head off to the south of france are going to be superbusy (colleagues on holiday, new interns, big projects), there's another road trip coming up the weekend after next, we've got houseguests again and my mother is stressing me out quite gloriously right now, too. things have been stressful with my parents for almost a year (haven't visited them since them - 600km away - which they are upset about), and i need to take care of our relationship but just don't feel like doing that right now. not dealing with it and trying to ignore it, however, is not making me any happier though. in addition, i haven't been talking about it with the boyfriend (just not enough time in the evenings, i guess, also upsetting and hence ruining our precious time together), and trying to work this out by myself is obviously not working and just not healthy. kinda like what i did in every relationship so far. need to ask for his input and help.

anyway. i was stressed out about all of this the whole time, and about being sick last week, and whatnot, and instead of freaking out about both of that, i freaked out about that stupid number on the scale. not good.

in any way, my body's feeling a lot better, and i'll start sorting through that other mess on my lunch break today to make my mind feel better as well. and call my mom tonight, even though i don't want to.

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