it's not a competition.

the treadmills at my gym are grouped in threes. the other day, i was doing my c25k run (my nikeplus is still broken, and all) on a middle one. as i was just starting my run (i start slowly, and about halfway through the run usually pick up my pace, increasing it until the finish), a woman started running on the treadmill on my left, and immediately started running at the pace that i was running.

a little later, another woman started using the treadmill on my right, and also started running at exactly my pace. as i started increasing my pace, both of them, glancing sideways, started increasing theirs as well, and it irritated me tremendously. i started glancing at their speeds as well, possibly being just as irritating to them as they were for me.

it was pretty ridiculous: as i got to my last five minutes, and kept increasing the speed, we were all three running faster than 11.5kmh. which is pretty damn fast for a stupid treadmill run.

and i was so. effing. angry. struck by a really bad case of gym anger.

was this a coincidence? or did we three collectively turn our (joint) runs into a competition? no matter what it was, it felt bad, and wrong and hurtful. if i'd been less angry, i might have thanked them for the good run afterwards, but i was angryangryangry and growlingly headed to the stretching area.

it's so weird, this gym anger - i've been struggling with it a bit these past few visits, off the treadmill as well. that anger sucks: it ruins my mood, and it sends off bad vibes. why is it so easy to be supportive of others (and especially other women) on the internet but so hard when someone's not following the weight circle rules and thus making me wait a whole! effing! minute!, someone doesn't wipe down the machine, someone who turns a treadmill run into a race or blocks my access to a weight machine with their towel. or takes ages, because (s)he has no clue about what to do?

i don't want to be the mean looking woman at the gym that shoots off evil glances, and i don't want to bring a bad mood home from the gym. so what to do? treat the whole thing as a metta meditation? possibly.

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