waterworld.

5 pounds down in the last 72 hours. down the loo, obviously.

my rings are way too lose again, my clothes fit better, and the definition in my arms, legs and upper body is almost back to normal. this recent experience of swelling like a pufferfish has been a first, which isn't that surprising, really, given that the number of pill-free cycles my body has ever had is less than a dozen or so. or maybe this is just the first time that i ever truly noticed. because that's different, these days: i'm so much closer to my body right now, than i ever was.

the extend of disconnect that i obviously had at a higher weight baffles me. i now notice what happens in my belly after dinner. i know the landscape of my body, the bones and muscles. i know where i begin and end. and i like it that way. and yet: there's so much stuff i still don't know, or don't get. like that i retain water like crazy before my period. or that my patella tendons are still so very unhappy, despite no running in three months and pretty regular icing.

i'll learn all that eventually, i guess. for now, i need patience, right? right.