change of plans.

it's wednesday night, and i am not at the gym. and i am trying really hard not to get all worked up about breaking my routine.

thing is: i've been feeling spectacularly crappy all day. a viral infection that i thought i'd conquered last week made a surprising return last night. i cried in bed this morning and practically crawled to work and got through the day by pretending to work and writing emails instead. walking the dog during my lunch break sucked big time, because i felt so weak and tired, and when the dog and i got back to the shop, r. pulled me on his lap and told me that i had to stay home tonight. and i knew he was right.

i had been all exhausted on monday as well, until i hit the gym, but today, i just couldn't do it. my body is tired, and the fact this infection made a return is a pretty direct message, that i need to take it a wee bit easier. like: staying in tonight, instead of working out for three hours to do my regular gym stuff.

i have got to heal, and i know it, and there's no point in working out if it makes me weaker, especially because this coming weekend is going to be kinda crazy, with the trip this coming weekend and all. i'm at a loss here, really: i don't know what else i should be doing to be healthy: i've been eating well, taking those super expensive anti-stress supplements and whatnot, and still got sick again, this quickly. that's not right.

and yet: i feel bad about not being at the gym. i know i would have felt a bit better afterwards, even if it had been not so great for my general health. and i won't be able to go this coming weekend and all.

and i also know that all of this is silly: one missed gym date will not magically make me weigh 90kg again tomorrow. it will not mean that my running will suck at my next gym visit. it doesn't mean that i will never get back to the gym ever again. it is just one missed gym date, and IT IS ALRIGHT and OKAY because I AM SICK and MY BODY NEEDS REST. (all caps, yay! to drive the message home). one missed gym date is not a drama, it is life. i'm doing the best that i can, and today that was walking home with the dog, cooking a nice meal and watching grey's anatomy (which i never ever do) with our houseguest.

tomorrow night, after packing my stuff for the trip, i'll take a 90 minute hatha yoga class at my gym. i'll watch what i eat during our weekend trip, like i always do, without getting to stressed out about it, and on monday, i'll be back on my normal fun, exhaustive gym schedule, and all will be fine.