i'm finally below where i ended, last fall, when i stopped following ww. i weighed in at 72,3kg this morning. 17kg lost. how very very awesome.

last night, however, wasn't so awesome. a colleague and i covered an event for work, and on our table was a large bowl with fish cracker, 2 baguette breads and licorice. and i totally could. not. stop. i shouldn't have started. seriously. didn't drink the beer though that i had opened to go along with all the bread crap. i hated it, as it happened, but totally could not stop.

it was a stressful event and all, so that mishap shouldn't be too shocking and all, but it sucked nonetheless. i didn't even enjoy the crap i was eating, i just ate it, because it was there. it was't that much, eventually, two handful of crackers, two pieces of bread, some licorice. i went above points by one, which was totally alright (i had 27 activity points saved this week anyway), so it didn't matter. but it sucked anyway. it was an activity fueled by selfhate, which is so ridiculous, because i love myself, and want to feel good and want to eat great tasting and healthy things and be happy and healthy.

oh well. no point in beating myself up over this anymore. it's done, and past, and didn't cause any harm, as far as i can tell. and this was bread, and some crackers, not several chocolate bars or pizzas or anything. i was stressed, and i've known for years that i tend to eat crappily when stressed (that got me to almost 90kg), so i need to work on two things: less stress, and better food around when i am stressed. and that's a challenge for every single day.

i hereby forgive myself for that carb crap last night and pat myself on the back for that 17kg loss, for finally being back on track with losing.

well done, woman. you can totally do this.

p.s. did go to the gym yesterday arvo, did a medium programme. loved it. very happy that i made myself go.

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