size 44.

and then yesterday, as if to fire my resolve, i finally got a dress i ordered from h&m online weeks ago. and it's not the 36 (8) that i ordered, but a 44 (16), the size i used to wear, back in the day. the dress was labelled correctly as a 44, but put into a 36-marked plastic bag for mailing. i tried it on, anyway, just because, and it was supremely weird. i took up that much space? when i wore 44s, i would quite likely never have worn that dress, because of the giant boobs i had back then, and the chub rub i'd get when wearing skirts. returning it tomorrow.