missing sex.

so. sex.

there hasn't been much in my life lately. the bf and i are kinda having a sexless relationship at the moment. and part of the reason is weight. not mine really (even though my libido has been creeping up again since losing weight and doing bikram), but his. and i worries me. tremendously.

you know, the bf is overweight. i don't know what he weighs, but if you look at photos of him from three, four years ago (back before i met him, before he got married and divorced and stressed out at work), you hardly recognize him. he's gained lots of weight. i'd guess 30, 40kg. his stature is big anyway (broad shoulders and all), but he's got a big belly and lots of back rolls these days. he started ww shortly after me, and has lost about 6kg since then, which you can see. so he's working on it, and that's fab. plus i love him, i fell in love knowing him this way. however, as we're moving closer to moving in together and committing even more, and i wonder, whether i can ever be fully happy and content with the physical side of our relationship.

i've read somewhere that being overweight lowers the libido for men, from a purely physical side. fat stores estrogen, estrogen lowers libido. pretty simple, really.

now, the problem is two-fold. for starters, we have totally different libidos anyway. if i could, i'd have sex twice every day. at least. i love sex. it's one of the nicest things you can do with the person you love. he's fine with sex once every two weeks. or less. he thinks cuddling is much more important for a relationship anyway. i love that cuddling, it's great, but i wish he wanted me. longed for me.

eff. this hurts.

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