denim days.

yesterday, in my old, too big jeans

i wore jeans for the first time in months this week.

see, i'm a girly girl, these days, all dresses and skirts and more dresses. don't know when and how exactly that happened, but at some point during this journey (oh, i hate that word), i stopped wearing jeans. not because i hated them, just because i started to prefer other kinds of clothes. and well, maybe i did hate them, a bit. jeans, during my fat days, were (like most clothing) uncomfy and too warm and uncomfy. and did i say that they were uncomfy? always digging into my love handles and pinching my ass and just never feeling right. first thing i did when coming home was always taking off my jeans and my bra.

during my fat days, i wore pretty much nothing but jeans and random tops. jeans were the only pants i could ever find that fit and i got so obsessed about fits that did, that i got people to import them from the us and uk for me. as if there were no jeans in this country that could snug my bum just so.

[on another note: you know, i'm still learning how to dress and all. i never learned how to combine clothes, what stuff flattered my shape, how to accessorize, whatnot. i never learned on what items to splurge and on what items to save. never had enough pants or bras, not because we were poor, but simply because my mom had no clue about how to dress herself, either.]

in any way, i wore jeans this week. and lo and behold, the jeans that i bought at 75 or so kilos just about a year ago, they're too big. way too big. taking-them-off-without-undoing-them-too-big. i wore them anyway because it's cooled down significantly and i had just done four loads of laundry with all my fave skirts. and poof!, all day, i got compliments. out of nowhere. from colleagues that i hang out with every day (who should have gotten used to the smaller me by now), from random aquaintances i ran into and especially from a., the bf's daughter (who lives in another ity and came to visit over the weekend). a. couldn't get over how much weight i've lost. she last saw me in late june, btw.

it's the jeans, i swear. i guess all those skirts and dresses i've been wearing (while nicely showing off my back and arms) just haven't shown off my legs and bum. and well, they're smaller, that bunch. a lot smaller, actually. i had a weird disconnect all day, looking down at my jeans-clad thighs, not recognising them as mine. they're SO! SMALL! NOW! (which they're not really, just in comparison to what they were like back in the day.)

loved that feeling so much that i actually went out and bought some more jeans today, at h&m. just cheap ones (they had a 10 euro off any jeans-offer, yay!) , to get me over this fall. one, a lovely dark dress pant cut, is a dress size 38 (or 10, woohoo!), the other a 30 inch; same cut, just two inches smaller than my too big jeans from last fall. yay.

i guess i'm making peace with jeans. and well: they're not uncomfy anymore. which surely helps. lucky me.