bye bye boobies.

my boobs have gone missing. for good, i assume.

at the end of april, on the day that the bf closed his shop, i bought a new bra. it was a strapless triumph one, and i got a proper consultation and measurement for it. it also scared me shitless. because the size of that contraption? 75e (34dd).

it's way to big now. way way way too big. the cups have folds on their undersides and all, and i have to close the band at it's tightest level. still wore it today. because it's the only (60 euro worth) strapless bra that i have. all my other, mostly 75d (34d) bras, are to big as well, including my two recently aquired, super awesome triaction sports bras. the latter are okay to wear, still, but all those regular bras are not.

i never got why women hated underwire bras. turns out i was quite simply always well padded enough to not be bothered by them. but that padding is gone now, and those underwires poke everywhere. it's especially evil between my boobs, where they rub and move on my sternum and hurt surprisingly bad. it's also freaking annoying and i was that bra tugging woman all day today. it's something that i hate, btw, that bra tugging. makes me feel very self-conscious and bra-challenged.

the loss of the boobs themselves, however, isn't impacting me that much. sure, it's a bummer that they're even less perky now, and kinda deflated, but those smaller boobs surely have surely improved my general silhouette and make me look a lot smaller than i used to be. i guess it helps that i got my nipples pierced, last winter - i've loved my boobs more than ever before, since then (nicer, more visible nipples, yay!). can't really pinpoint why, maybe because they've got so much more personality now. or something.

in any way, i'll be buying some new bras this week. one strapless one and one regular one, for now. who knows if those boob will continue to shrink? no idea, what size i'll need. maybe 70c?

[also: have no idea, what the rest of my body is like, either. i totally need to head out to the shops to try some things on. ordered a dress from frontline - where i still had some store credit after a dress i had ordered a few weeks ago turned out to be giant - and wasn't sure what size to get. chose an m. wondering whether it'll fit.]