5/08/2010

i love a good plan.

i feel so much better. i guess it had all been a bit much, lately. and i had failed to plan. which means planned to fail, obviously.

the other day, my fabulous motivational matchup, lizzie reminded me that i've been here, and done that before (mystery weight gain, hunger, everything) and that switching up my gym routine always makes me hungry, and renée of lowfatpie gratiously offered via twitter to look at my foodlog. which has been awesome, because it has made me track better (and well, there are obviously a few more points on my logs, than anticipated) and want to choose more variety. just two days have made a difference in how i feel. so thanks, you two!

last night, i was super exhausted and got out of the office later than hoped, so when the 'i don't want to go to the gym'-talk started in my head, i called r., told him i needed a pep talk, and he delivered. and it was all good: working out last night even though i didn't feel like it, really helped me clear my head and made me feel good. gotta remember that!

this week has been super stressful. i'm about to head up north for four days in a few hours. tonight, i will be moderating a four hour live stream from an event up north, so if you want to see & hear me live in action and wearing dressy shorts and a flowy grey top, go to http://tinyurl.com/2a45a6b (no link, because i am soooo sneaky about the weight loss blogging!). we start streaming at 8pm cet (7pm gmt/2pm edt/11am pdt), and users can participate via twitter and facebook.

and me? i'm super stressed. have never moderated for this amount of time, feel totally out of my league because i'm not quite up to par with the local political and art scene (have decided to just make that my thing for the night - not being a local). and of course i'm doubting my ability to do that kind of thing in the first place (ye older "i am an impostor!"-line of thought) and worried stupidly about looking stupid (and saying stupid stuff) and ugly. bought new clothes (dresscode for us was 'smart casual', which means what exactly for women again?) and got a make up appointment this arvo. it'll all be fun. i hope.

spending two days at my parents (instructing my mom on exactly what kind of lärabars to bring home from the us - they'll be visiting my brother next week, yay!), and then on tuesday, i'm heading to a work event, where i'll be representing that award i've been involved in. big press conference, where the results of what we've been up to these past few months will be unveiled. also worried about looking capable, smart and good there.  ahem. 'tis always the same. wondering whether people i admire professionally also feel this way.

so keep your fingers crossed, everyone. and tune in tonight. just 13 hours to go! eeep!