inspiration. [#12]

"married men, long-distance relationships, lovers who are addicted to drugs or work or alcohol or sex - pursuing them is the same as believing that when you get thin, the anguish that follows you like a shadow will disappear. both are fantasies; one involves achieving something; the other involves getting someone. both are a way of saying, 'the present (or past) might be awful, but i don't have to think about it because the future will be glorious.' both are designed to distract you; they both provide a focus, a goal that you can constantly move toward without ever arriving."
[geneen roth. when food is love.]

married men ✓
long-distance relationship ✓
addicts ✓

and yes, for years i ignored how awful the present (or past) were. things are so much better these days, but i know there is stuff i still need to work on. otherwise the fact that r.'s been gone for 16 days (just three more!) wouldn't unsettle me as much as it has. my equilibrium really depends on him. and that? ain't great.

in any way, i started reading 'when food is love' after erin wrote about it, and it is as good as she says. indeed. more thoughts on it, soon.

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